A Hero Becomes a Legend August 11, 2006

Today I had to watch my grandfather being buried. It was an overall very tough day for not only myself, but for the rest of the family. The service in Harrisonville was wonderful, very simple and it celebrated his life to the best that it could. My brother Chad gave a short speech about grandpa. It was well was wonderful. I was handling myself very well. I had my stand-in husband Aaron Ringen at my side, which was nice since Clint was gone. Aaron stayed last night in the guest room/office. When the old football players of my grandfather started crying that’s when it really hit me, that my grandfather was gone. Although i know that he’s watching over me and my family, it’s still very surreal to think that he’s gone. I know that it will hit me one of these days, and my tears will continue to flow.

While on our way to the burial site, i had the iPod on random, and the following song came up, and I thought that it was not by accident. here’s the lyrics:

“Shadows In Red” by: Sevendust

Lookin out the window of pain
I see clearly now your face
Something so pure
Something I’m sure will be lost

I’m staring at the shadows in red
Sends me chills now
I see clearly everything except your face

I’m lonely scared to be lonely
Thought until death meant
My fears were safe within now they begin
To be lonely scared of the only
Thing I knew best so I thought I knew everything
Until now I see I’m lost and lonely

Shatters everything in my head consumes me
Blinded by one thing obsessed with the need to be loved
Screams become whispers instead assuming
I know I’m losing all the things closest to me

I’m lonely scared to be lonely
Thought until death meant
My fears were safe within
Now they begin to be lonely
Scared of the only thing
I knew best
So I thought I knew everything

Until now I see
I’m lost and lonely
Angels swirl around me
So now I know I’m not alone
Only scared to be lonely
Thought until death meant
My fears were safe within now they begin
To be lonely scared of the only
Thing I knew best so
I thought I knew everything
Until now I see I’m lost and lonely

– Grandpa, I loved you so much, and you taught me so much. While standing at the grave sight today I remembered when you taught me how to drive in that very spot. You meant the world to me, and you will continue to live on in my heart, and to everyone that I meet.

Let the Training Begin August 10, 2006

So my Uncle Ronnie, Aunt Kay, Mom & Grandma came over yesterday after leaving the funeral home in Harrisonville. We had a nice little picnic lunch. We don’t have a table and chairs to eat at so we ate at the coffee table, so that’s what made it a picnic. Right in the middle of lunch, Slinky decided that he was going to use the bathroom right in front of everyone. Embarrassed me. Uncle Ronnie cleaned it up as I took him outside to make sure he was done.

When I got back inside, Uncle Ronnie told me how they broke their dachshund of doing the same thing. Everytime he takes her outside, he takes small treats. When she does her business he gives her a treat right after she finishes, so if she does both 1 and 2, then she gets two small treats. Took her only a few days to realize that how she got treats.

So of course, I decided to try it. Yesterday afternoon when they left I started the training. After he went I gave him a treat and praised him, however I still couldn’t get him to poop outside. I figured that when I woke up this morning he would have pooped like he normal does. I was wrong. When I got up this morning I went to where we keep the treats, got two small treats and took Slinky outside. He went to pee right away. I gave him the treat. Normally after this he heads back to the front down to go inside, instead he started sniffing like he was going to poop, and HE DID!!! Then looked at me for a treat. I gave him the treat followed by rubbing his little tummy like none other.

Who knows, maybe Slinky can be broken of this bad habit!

8.8.06 @ 11:14 am August 9, 2006

Today is my mom’s 54th birthday. However, instead of being able celebrate it, we are mourning the death of my grandfather. He died yesterday morning, at the Nursing home in Warrensburg. Grandma, mom & dad were with him when he went. Myself, and Clint as well as my brother and his wife didn’t make it in time. They said he went peacefully and wasn’t in any pain. I guess that’s the best we could have hoped for. He seemed he was getting better, however, I’ve learned that people usefully get somewhat better right before they pass.
Grandma is heart broken. Who wouldn’t be, after 63 years of being married, and being with each other, it’s only natural.

GENCON is this week. Clint and I had to decide what he was going to do. Not sure when everything was at first we talked about him flying back for the funeral, and then flying back to Indianapolis. However, that couldn’t happen. In the end we decided that he should just continue with the trip as scheduled. We would be causing problems to those he’s going with, if we changed any plans. I didn’t want him not to go, because he’s looked forward to this all summer.

Grandpa’s visitation is Thursday night in Harrisonville, followed by the funeral Friday morning. The burial site is in Seneca, Mo, so we have to drive a few hours to get down there.

I’m glad that he’s no longer suffering like he was and is able to relax and be at peace. I’m sure he’s playing his first round of golf in years as the sun rose this morning to all of us still here.

New Home August 2, 2006

Moving is something that I don’t like to do. Don’t get me wrong I love the thrill of living in a new place, however what I don’t like is the packing, unpacking, stress, etc… It’s now Wednesday, we’ve been in our new place 5 days, and we are almost done with the important boxes getting unpacked. We still have loads of stuff in the garage that I personally need to go through and weed things out. However, that’s my task for next week, while Clint is in Indianapolis without me. Even if I could have afforded to go, there’s no way I could have with school and all.

This is my last week at Sylvan teaching in the mornings. Starting next week we go to evening hours only, which means I’ll go from teaching 6 days a week there, to only Tuesday and Thursday nights. I was going to try Friday nights as well, however I think by the time Friday comes around, I’m gonna wanna relax all weekend. Plus Clint’s going to start a new DnD Campaign, and I’m aching to play. I haven’t gamed in a good 6 months, give or take, and damn if I don’t miss it.

Clint’s going to be using the garage as the “gaming room” We brought the table and chairs from his mom’s basement. It’s got the feel of our earlier gaming days. I’m going to make some curtains to hang from the ceiling to separate the laundry area from the gaming area. Once we get some time and whatnot, everything will come together.

I’m sitting here watching the Sunset. The office has a nice view of the sunset every night. Clint has been working in the morning and is loving every minute of it. Getting lots of work done is awesome for him. The faster he works, the more projects he can get through.

We should have our phone sometime on Monday morning which will be nice. There was a mistake with the phone service, so we’ve been using my cell phone.

Slinky is loving the stairs. He’s figured out that if he throws his toys, bones, whatever in the air it will roll down the stairs and he can chase it. We put his kennel in our bedroom, and he’s been sleeping in there at night. He’s seemed to calm down since we moved. All the boxes and craziness before the move really freaked him out. He’ll miss Clint I think just as much as I will next week.

Well I better get back to work. Once the house is somewhat decent looking, I’ll get some pics up.

Time to go through more boxes.