Last Birthing Class January 29, 2008

Last night we had our last birthing class, so it’s somewhat funny that I get this little email today.

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Dear Non-Pregnant Person,

I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn’t mean me- then you should probably read this twice.

1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is “Congratulations!” with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ####

2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase “my baby”.

3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in #2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it.

4) The body of a pregnant women should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone’s stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman.

5) Likewise, no women wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is “You look fabulous!”.

6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don’t need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes.

7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents.

Like everything else is life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to “help out”. If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it.

9) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping.

10) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less.

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We actually talked about some of these things last night in class.  Number 4 is something that I’ve had issues with, people randomly wanting to touch my belly.  If I say, “Give me your hand” that’s one thing, but if you randomly place your hand there, watch out you never know my mood.

Likewise #5, I know I don’t look 9 months preggers, but you don’t have to tell me, I’m proud that I haven’t gained the typical 25-30lbs and only gained 17 since I started out over weight.  Don’t forget that I LOST 30lbs in the first trimester due to my staph infection and exorcist style puking.

It may sound like I’m lashing out, however I’m just moody, and been dealing with wicked heartburn for the last 4 days. I’m patiently waiting for Dade to drop to release pressure on my lungs, scratch that my entire upper body.

26 Days!

If only. . . January 28, 2008

I could do this without getting into trouble.  Teacher’s think these things all the time, but have to hold it in. Enjoy because I sure did!!

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These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but boy are these funny!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5.Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them.

6. The student has a “full six-pack” but lacks the plastic thing to
hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter’s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t
coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered
twice a week.

11. It’s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat
out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

Tired Now January 27, 2008

So, I lied.  No pictures.  Why you wonder. Because the batteries are dead and I can’t take pictures.  But trust me when I saw that the main level is clean. Didn’t take to long.

I got my lesson plans typed up and ready to go.  Just have to figure out my science.  Which Holly will be here within the hour so we can finish up the plans. Simple as that.

I need to find some reading comprehension things, or at least skill sheets that will help the kids.  So now I go to that!

Nesting January 27, 2008

Gonna start cleaning and rearranging furniture…. pictures when finished!

MLK Jr. Day Part 2 January 21, 2008

So Here’s the original list:

1. Read Directions to Clint while he assembles the crib (this really involved me standing there and holding the pieces while he put everything together. I really didn’t have to read anything.)

2. Wash all baby items that I received from Baby Shower on Saturday (I even have them put away in their spots!)

3. Write Thank-You Notes

4. Put together bookshelf in Dade’s room (I did this before Clint got up. I’m surprised that the hammering did not wake him.)

5. Put away books on book shelf. (I have them organized by hardback books, paperback books, and board books.)

6. Put bedding set into finished/assembled crib (Looks really adorable if I do say so myself!)

7. Work on normal laundry in general. (Started my first load)

8. Grade student’s homework.

9. Find some place that will buy our old desktop computer. (This is somewhat finished. Clint’s sister is interested.)

10. Go to Wal-mart and return curtain rod that is too small and get bigger one.

If it is in bold it’s finished.

***

It’s 11:45, and I’m halfway through my list. Not to shabby! I deserve a nice relaxing sit for awhile. I think I’ll start on the thank you notes!

We also have our third birthing class tonight at 7pm. So I’ve still got plenty of time!

MLK Jr. Day Part 1 January 21, 2008

I’m not exactly sure how many blogs I will post today, I’m going to try for atleast two. Here’s what’s on my To-Do List for my day off from work:

1. Read Directions to Clint while he assembles the crib

2. Wash all baby items that I recieved from Baby Shower on Saturday

3. Write Thank-You Notes

4. Put together bookshelf in Dade’s room

5. Put away books on book shelf.

6. Put bedding set into finished/assembled crib

7. Work on normal laundry in general.

8. Grade student’s homework.

9. Find some place that will buy our old desktop computer.

10. Go to Wal-mart and return curtain rod that is too small and get bigger one.

****

As you can see I have a lot to do today. Time to get started!

Mama wanted out! January 17, 2008

I remembered last time I took a bath and I was home alone that it took me a bit to get out.  I figured I should take a bath before Clint left tonight to hang out with some friends.  I’m glad that I did, because sure enough I couldn’t get out on my own.  I had to call him upstairs to help, he gave a little laugh when I told him I couldn’t get out.  I told him that it was pathetic that I couldn’t get out.

He simply said, “Dade wanted to stay in.”

My response, “Mama wanted out.”

Snow Day. . . and much needed January 17, 2008

I went to bed last night to a bit of snow on the ground, and also telling myself not to get my hopes up about having a snow day. I woke up this morning at my normal time of 6am and looked outside. There’s about 4 or so inches of snow out there. I thought to myself before I jump in the shower, I’ll just check out the good ‘ol internet to see who’s closed. I went to trust kmbc.com and took a look. I check KCMO first to see if they were closed. Since we use their buses we close when they do, and sure enough they were closed, so up I scrolled to the “Ds” and there it was “Derrick Thomas Academy” Closed. Pleasant surprise, slightly disappointed in myself for not bringing any work home though. I’ve got a ton of stuff that could have been graded, but oh well. Also, tonight was supposed to be Parent Teacher Conferences, which I was somewhat dreading having to stay at school until 8pm tonight because I haven’t been feeling well still.

Fully wide awake, I went onto my normal sites, and saw that Amy had finished one of the two painting projects for Dade’s room. Which made me really excited. Here’s a picture of the finished “D is for Dade” Project

I can not wait to see it in person! It’s going to look so cute hanging on his wall!

Scary Day January 15, 2008

I woke up this morning, not feeling very right. I didn’t sleep very well, so I assumed it was due to that. I actually got sick after getting out of the shower, but again I hadn’t eaten since before birthing class the night before, so I didn’t think anything of it.

As I got to school and began getting ready for the day, I started getting really bad lower back pain. I made it through reading, and as it got closer to lunch I started getting a cramping feeling. I made a call to the doctor. After a bit they called back, and told me to head over to labor and delivery at St. Luke’s East.

I called Clint to let him know what the doctor said and he met me at the hospital. Once I got settled into my room, they hooked me up to the monitor and there we waited for an hour. We was awesome to be able to hear Dade’s heartbeat for an hour. It was interesting to see how it rose and fell depending on what he was doing. Whenever Clint got me to laugh, Dade’s heartbeat would go up to like 160 or so. Clint and I almost feel asleep listening to the heartbeat.

Our nurse came in after about an hour and checked my cervix. Everything was good! It was still sealed tight (which it should be). I had to sign some paperwork so that I could be discharged. I was starving by the time we got back to the house, so I made steak and potatoes.

It was a scary experience today, but I feel happy knowing that everything is okay baby wise. My body however is still trying to battle of a lingering bladder infection (the possible cause for today’s false alarm). The nurse said that Dade is in perfect condition for 34 weeks. Clint kept telling him that he couldn’t come out yet because his bed is still in the box. Of course I started laughing, and then Dade kicked a few times.

I will say this, Dade has a natural rhythm. I wonder who he got that from?

Nursery Work January 6, 2008

Yesterday was the first day that we truly devoted to working on the nursery. All in all it went fairly well. We just had a few minor problems. Clint and dad went to Babies R Us to get the crib and the dresser. Mom and I stayed at the house to take care of the carpet in the room. When the guys returned back from Babies R Us, they looked slightly bothered. The dresser was luckily full assembled. YEAH my favorite thing. No assembly required. However that was the only piece they could fit in the car. The crib box was too big to fit. Now for my own sake, I knew that the crib box was big, because I was told by BabiesRUs that we would need a bigger vehicle. Hence my parents coming up to help. Well mom, dad and Clint unpacked the dresser outside, took the drawers out, and up the stairs it came. Silly me forgot to take pictures of that. After we got the dresser in, Clint and I started making calls to the people that we knew had trucks, trying to find someone to let us borrow it to get the crib. I was bound and determined to get that crib! Finally we got ahold of our buddy Noah we said he would see about getting our other friend Mike’s truck. Long, complicated, I know. Anyways, he got it.

When Noah showed up here at the house, Clint was slightly worried that it wouldn’t even fit in Mike’s truck bed. He had seen the box, and attested to the fact that it was massive. So off we (Clint, Amy, Ethan, Noah and myself) in two separate vehicles to BabiesRUs. We got there, gave the paperwork to a worker, and waited for them to bring the box up front. When I saw the box, I began to panic, you know it’s not a good sign when they have to take the sliding doors off the hinges to get the crib box out the door. Noah and Ethan were saying it should fit. Key word there, SHOULD. We get it loaded into the truck, and it fits for the most part. Part of it is hanging over. Now fear of it tipping out of the truck kicks in. The boys start to reassure me that the box is heavy enough that there’s no danger of it falling out, and that we don’t need to tie it into the truck. Meanwhile Amy is taking pictures of this conversation, and you can see the uncertainty in my face. I wanted to follow behind the truck, but Noah said for me to take the lead. I do about oh 55 or 60 on the way home, so that I can stare at the truck following behind me.

Safely we make it home, and the next series of questions begin. Do we open the box and carry it piece by piece, or just take the box as a whole all the way to the third floor. Second choice, box in tact. Noah and Clint then proceed up the first flight of stairs. Sliding the box up instead of carrying it. I grab the camera for the second flight. It was a tight fit around the corner and up the second flight. I got great pictures of Noah and Clint shoving this massive box up the stairs. Finally it was in the room. VICTORY!

I think Clint enjoyed the next words out of my mouth, which were, “We can assemble it next weekend.” Poor guy was running on about 1.5 hours of sleep. Neither one of us slept much Friday night. So we went back with Ethan and Noah to Kansas City, where Clint and Noah “jammed” for a few hours on drums and guitar.

I know we still have a lot of work to do, but it’s starting to come together. We start birthing classes tomorrow. I’ll have to do a post about that.